He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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