So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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