we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
organizing the empties. That sober.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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