can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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