Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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