If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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