I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize