You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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