Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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