Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
should my penis look like a turkey
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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