I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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