I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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