I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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