are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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