ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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