It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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