well you can't waste a boner
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize