I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize