Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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