U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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