if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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