Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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