How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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