And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize