i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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