Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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