if you like me you must not know who I am
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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