I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize