You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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