Your face is a jimmy john
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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