is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize