apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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