Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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