My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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