he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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