fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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