Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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