New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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