im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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