Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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