Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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