I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize