Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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