He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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