i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize