I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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