How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize