You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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