Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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