the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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